how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
