You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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