I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
