What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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