we're chasing vodka with high fives
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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