I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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