I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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