I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
NoShamevember. You game?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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