PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
