so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
