I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
