He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
