No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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