alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
tell me about the eggs
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
