shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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