As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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