I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
