i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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