I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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