I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize