I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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