I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
