nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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