Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
