I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
