Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
