She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
