She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
