I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
