There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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