Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
