I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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