Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
