I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
