its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
