Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
