She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
