By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
