we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
