did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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