I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
