therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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