she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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