i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
