it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
