This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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