the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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