Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
