wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
