It's like God shit irony all over that family
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
