you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
