had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
