This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
