You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
