We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The feeling are messing with the penis
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Idk if I want to put a bra on
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
