come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
