I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
porn star boner night. come get it.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
