if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize