Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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